Canadian Border Agent: Where are you headed?
Me: Um... Tokyo.
Agent: [Pauses]. Why are you going?
Me: Eh... tourist.... tourism.
Agent: [Studies me a for a beat]
Agent: You know they have, like, nuclear fallout raining down.
Me: yeeeeeah. I heard about that.
Agent: You know they are having blackouts and food shortages.
Me: Uh huh. [clears throat]. Yeah. I uh... heard about that too.
Agent: You know, you might get stuck there. You'll have trouble just getting around.
Me: [vision of me stuck in mob in Tokyo, people screaming as cloud of death rains down from above]
Me: well, uh... I've been planning this for years.
Agent: Why are you going again? Did you say tourism?